Demigods, Meet Fanfiction
by epickumquat42
Summary: Your everyday, average 'characters read crazy fanfiction about themselves and freak' story with my own personal twist! Randomer, awkwarder, funnier, and insaner! Some of those were real words! If you're not sold yet, here's a quote: "Girlfriends are mysterious creatures." Hilarity warning: if you die of laughter while reading, it is totally my fault! K for now, but it might change!


**I know, I know... 'characters read fanfictions about themselves and freak' is super cliche, but truth or dare is too, and you guys (or girls or robots or vegetables or undecided) really seem to like mine... so, without further ado (besides the obligatory 'nothing is mine', a warning about my writing always having innuendos and Solangelo, occasionally together, and my saying 'this takes place after BoO and Leo's return' just so you're not totally confused when you start reading) enjoy!**

**Wow, crazy long AN, kudos to you if you read it *slow clap***

Once again, Rachel snickered as he walked by. Not that he had been remotely suspicious to begin with, but he had started to notice after it had been pointed out to him by Annabeth, Piper, Leo, Calypso, Will, Nico, Grover, Juniper, the Stolls, Katie, Lou Ellen, Malcolm, and even Jason who was moron, Clarisse who was a muscle-brain, Drew who was constantly checking her makeup and checking him out, and Clover who was asleep most of the time. Just to make sure he wasn't imagining things, he walked by her again.

"Percy, what in the name of Olympus is going on? That's the twenty-third time you've casually walked past me."

_I thought I was being so sneaky..._ he thought sadly, resolving himself to the fact that he would never be a ninja. "Maybe you should tell me what's going on first."

"What?"

"Every time you see someone, you start laughing. Why?"

"Oh, no reason," she started giggling again, "no reason at all..."

"Are you going to act this weird when Thalia and the hunters get here tomorrow?"

Her grin widened, "Thalia's coming?" She asked slowly.

"Yes, you've known about this about a month." He really wished he knew what in Hades was going on in her head... on second thought, never mind... anything that has to do with that creepy grin can't be anything but trouble...

"You must be really excited about that." Her grin grew even wider. It was making him feel very, very uncomfortable.

"Um, yeah, I haven't seen her in ages and..." he trailed off. How does her face not hurt from grinning so much?

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," she grinned painfully wide, "why do you ask?"

"You look kinda crazy right now."

"We're all crazy here," she said mysteriously and walked away, still grinning.

I feel like she just quoted something I haven't seen... I should talk about this with Annabeth, she always knows what's going on.

"Percy, what is the name of all that is holy is going on?"

Crap, I jinxed it. "What do you mean what's going on?"

His girlfriend sighed and rubbed her temples like she had a headache; she'd been doing that a lot recently, but Percy had no clue why. "Did you talk to Rachel? What did she say? Does she need a straitjacket, or were the Stolls exaggerating again?"

"Uh... yes, confusing things, maybe, and I dunno."

"Could you possibly answer less helpfully?"

"Probably?"

He didn't understand why she threw her hands in the air and groaned loudly. Girlfriends are mysterious creatures. Now Annabeth was talking about something to do with psychological evaluation and Freud's principles of the human subconscious and some others things he'd never heard of. At some point, her lecture on psychoanalysis lulled him into a stupor. Ten minutes later she asked, "can you do that?"

His head jerked up, "five more minutes, mom! Wai–what? I mean–yes? Maybe?"

"Were you even listening, seaweed brain?"

"Sometimes?"

She rubbed her temples again, "just... go to Rachel's cave and see what she's up to."

"Okay!" He jumped up before she could start talking about... whatever she had been talking about before. As much as he loved her, she had a tendency to talk about school things... a lot of school things Percy couldn't care less about. It was summer for gods' sakes! They were supposed to be enjoying themselves and forgetting everything! And occasionally saving to world, but that was mainly a demigod thing.

When Percy walked into Rachel's cave, the first thing he noticed was it's surprisingly large resemblance to a cross between an arcade, a nightclub, and an all-night buffet. After a bit of searching, he found her in a hammock next to the automated expresso bar. She was reading something on her bedazzled laptop and cackling quite madly.

"What are you..." Whatever he was going to say escaped before his brain could get the words to his mouth.

Too out of breath to say anything, Rachel pushed the laptop toward him and pointed at a paragraph.

Percy started reading the first sentence:

_Luke ran his tongue along Percy's neck. The younger boy shivered in pleasure and whispered those three, forbidden words, "I love you."_

Percy tore his eyes away from the screen in horror, "what in Hades is this? This never happened! I swear! I...What is going on?" He shouted, waving his arms in a way that was not helpful to anything, but it did make him feel slightly better.

Rachel had been calming down, but she started giggling again when she saw his face. "You are blushing–so much–" she informed him between breaths.

"I...Shut up!" He uncapped riptide and prepared to murder the laptop.

"No no no no no no no! Wait! I'll explain. You remember that guy we let write down all of you guys' adventures so new demigods would know what to expect and stuff?"

"Yeah, Dryerton, right?"

"Riordan?"

"Sure."

"Anyway, the mortals really loved those books–"

"Because I'm awesome." He said proudly.

"Sure. So they write stories about us and put it on websites like this one, they call it fanfiction, as in, fiction made by the fans."

"But why..." he couldn't find words to describe what he'd just read.

"That's what the writers wants to have happened."

"Then I'll find the writer and make him change his mind!" Percy shouted, pointing his sword at the ceiling.

"Good luck, the website is anonymous, you don't have to give any information about yourself if you don't want to."

"What does the writer say his name is?"

"Saladluvvver8."

"Oh, never mind." He capped riptide and sadly put it back in his pocket.

"Ooh! Here's a story about you joining the army of chaos and taking over the world!"

He immediately perked up. "Really? Lemme see!"

He sat down next to Rachel and they started reading.

**Uh oh, now Percy's on the internet.**

**What did you think? Do you like it? Do you hate it? What should happen next? Who should come in next? What story should they read? Tell me! All reviewers get magical blue cupcakes!**

**I made up saladluvvver8 and the excerpt from his story, so all credits go to me! For my contribution to the story, I get Rachel's bedazzled laptop! Yay! Isn't bedazzled a fun word? Bedazzled bedazzled bedazzled! I love saying it and I love sparkles!**

**Side note: I will do almost any story rated T or lower. Any and all pairing are welcome, but I might bash some more than others, not based on my personal preferences but on how I think the characters would react to that pairing. Any views or opinions expressed by characters are not necessarily shared by me, the writer.**

**—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat**


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